3. THE TERMS
HE L P ME , HE L P YOU
Save money!
Starting Jan. 1st
(or December 28 because I will most likely be hungover Jan. 1)
If when your baby comes you decide you want no
tenant, I will be happy to find a new place
5. BOY, CAN SHE COOK
I will make dinner to share at least once a week, probably more. I also
excel at breakfast.
Just a Few Things I can cook:
• Cheddar Biscuits (Red Lobster Recipe)
• Shrimp and Grits
• Alice Springs Chicken
• Buffalo Chicken Meatloaf
• Thai Coconut Red Curry
• Fontina Stuffed Mushrooms
• London Broil
• Chicken Parmesan
• Spaghetti Carbonara
6. ADDITIONAL BENEFITS
I WILL BABYSIT THE DOGS WHEN YOU GO OUT OF TOWN!
Britton can save money carpooling to work
I promise to never dye Brittons hair red again, but I can still save you money
with haircuts! Upwards of $160 a year!!
7. ADDITIONAL BENEFITS
( I F YO U C H O O S E F O R M E T O S TAY O N C E N E I L J R . A R R I V E S )
One Saturday night a month babysitting so
Britton can look like this
Instead of this…
And if you ever
need to step out for
a minute I can help!
10. THE BAGGAGE
Tini Maybe
11”, 17 lbs 1’2”, 20 lbs
Poops: quite small Poops: Only on walks
Hobby: Pretending to be a Hobby: Sitting quietly
rug Fave Quote: “You’re
Fave Quote: “Bacon” Adopted”
11. BUT WHAT ABOUT…
T H E D R E A D E D B OY F R I E N D S
Pro: I don’t currently have one
Pro: Let the record show, I have never dated anyone with a criminal record
My mom runs background checks on anyone I go out with.
My next boyfriend will look like this:
* Note: At which point I will be
moving out to live in my new
mansion with my husband, Ryan
Gosling