18. Parental Alienation and Allegations of
Abuse
Abuse allegations
Some sexual abuse claims are justified
High incidence of unfounded claims
18
Reference: Bala. N AIFS 2012
Kelly & Johnston
Introduce modified Kelly & Johnson spectrum (affiliation, alliance, alignment, estrangement, alienation)
Parental alienation differentiated from affiliation, alliance, alignment, estrangement by the actions (or omissions) of an hostile and aggressive parent
Parental alienation then becomes the SUPERVENING and DOMINANT process
Why?
Each type of relationship is a whole attachment system
Includes elements of its preceding type
Deals with ‘hybrid’ situations
Affiliation
Alliance
Alignment
Estrangement
Alienation
A clear definition
Gardiner’s original definition
A controversial figure
Kelly & Johnson reformulation of parental alienation
Extreme end of a spectrum of attachment
Further reformulation
Enfolding continuum of attachment
Each style of attachment enfolds and includes preceding styles
Parental Alienation is the supervening process
5 Main Parental Alienation Strategies
Denigrating and de-valuing the target parent
To the child or in the child’s presence/indirectly
Impose lies, and inaccuracies
Selective attention onto minor flaws
Confiding adult only information
First name basis
Sabotaging time the child spends with the target parent
Withholding or destroying gifts and letters from the alienated parent to the child
Interfering with, monitoring or intercepting communications
Interfering with personal time
scheduling competing activities
excessively making contact with the child whilst in the company of the alienated parent
Pretexts, changing pickup drop-off locations and times
Destroying and undermining memories and relationships
Sanctioning the child’s reference to the alienated parent or to referring to photographs or letters
Destroying evidence of previously happy relationships between the child and the alienated parent
Involving the alienated child to spy on or keep secrets from the rejected parent
Involving the alienated child in a loyalty conflict, forcing them to choose between parents
Provoking conflict between the child and the alienated parent
Interrogating child about the time with the alienated parent
Indoctrinating the child about adult issues beyond the age or stage of understanding
Financial, often child-support
Relational, separation and divorce
Manipulating the child to reject the target parent
Making parental love conditional upon rejecting the target parent
Inducing feelings of guilt for having fun with or feeling love toward the rejected parent
The alienating parent portrays themselves as vulnerable
requiring the care and protection of the child
To the exclusion of the target parent
Demoting and devaluing the rejected parent’s role in the child’s life
Withholding crucial information about the child’s life from the rejected parent
Medical, educational
Not inviting the rejected parent to or informing them of significant events in the child’s life
Revising history to minimise and de-value the role of the target parent
Demote the target parent by referring to them by their first name to the child
Differential Criteria
8 key assessment criteria (child)
8 key alienating behaviours-alienating parents
PA Process
Pre-meditation
How an aligned child can become an alienated child
Parental alienation characterised by alienating parent omissions and actions
Focus on the child’s behaviour AND the parents behaviour as markers of parental alienation
No provision for protective parenting
Parental alienation acknowledged but underdone
Expand?
E.g. Parental alienation is a supervening process
Dominant
Focus only on the child’s behaviour
Need to focus on both child’s AND parent’s behaviour
Dilution and confusion of Parental Alienation
Confusion with benign attachment styles
Dilution by ‘hybridisation’
Lets blame everyone
General rule.
Target parents will seek help, alienating parents will not
Naïve and emotionally reactive alienating parents can engage with therapy and interventions
Obsessive alienating parents will not engage unless legally enforced
Alienating parents seem to engage but sabotage the process outside the intervention
Duplicity
Plausibility
Affiliation
Normal!
Alliance
Mostly normal!
Alignment
Driven by parental and personality styles
Amenable to psycho education parental education
Estrangement
Rupture in which abuse may be involved
Alienation
Naïve
Emotionally Reactive
Obsessive
Placing children with alienated parent
Reunification counselling for alienated parents and children
Focused psychotherapy for alienating parent
Excluded except under supervision