This is a slide deck from my Spring 2021 section of The Art of Self-Coaching at the Stanford Graduate School of Business. Course materials are archived at https://www.edbatista.com/the-art-of-self-coaching-course.html.

1. The art of
Photo by Jes [link]
Ed Batista
Class 7: UNHAPPINESS
Spring 2021
self-coaching

2. Unhappiness
Photo by Jes [link]
The absence of happiness?
A legitimate feeling
A fruitful state

3. Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]
Exercise & small group 20 mins
Partner exercises 50 mins
Small group discussion 15 mins
For next time… 5 mins
No outside of class activity
Agenda

4. Unhappiness
Photo by Jes [link]

5. Unhappiness
Reflect and take some notes
Prepare to discuss with your group
What is it like to bear witness to this?
What does it evoke for you? How do you feel?

6. Unhappiness
Everyone you meet
is fighting a battle
you know nothing about.
~ Wendy Mass

7. 3 exercises
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

8. 3 exercises
Pen & paper
Be explicit, detailed & personal
Emotional experiences, not just cognitive
Proceed slowly—do NOT begin with COVID-19

9. Exercise #1
Photo by Keoni Cabral [link]

10. Start slowly
Photo by Keoni Cabral [link]

11. Discuss with your
Photo by Keoni Cabral [link]
partner

12. Stoicism
Photo by Martin Fisch [link]

13. Stoicism
Photo by Martin Fisch [link]
Things do not touch the soul.
Our perturbations come only
from the opinion which is within.
~Marcus Aurelius

14. Stoicism
Photo by Martin Fisch [link]
Not “stoicism”
Equanimity ≠ Weary resignation

15. Stoicism
Photo by Martin Fisch [link]
Happiness = equanimity & tranquility
(Eudaimonia, not mere pleasure)

16. Stoicism
Photo by Martin Fisch [link]
Turn toward negative emotions
(Growth mindset)

17. Stoicism
Photo by Martin Fisch [link]
Distress stems from our beliefs & judgments
(Mental models)

18. Stoicism
Photo by Martin Fisch [link]
Turn infinite fears into finite ones
(Emotion regulation)

19. Exercise #2
Photo by Harsha K R [link]

20. Discuss with your
Photo by Harsha K R [link]
partner

21. Buddhism
Photo by Sarah J [link]

22. Buddhism
Photo by Sarah J [link]
Maybe the most important teaching
is to lighten up and relax.
~Pema Chödrön

23. Buddhism
Photo by Sarah J [link]
Seeking pleasure is an opportunity to observe
what we do in the face of pain.
~Pema Chödrön

24. Buddhism
Photo by Sarah J [link]
Resisting our addiction to avoiding pain
Being inquisitive & open to experience
(Comfort with discomfort)
(Mindfulness)

25. Buddhism
Photo by Sarah J [link]
What we call obstacles are really the way
the world teaches us where we’re stuck.
~Pema Chödrön
(Mental models)

26. Buddhism
Photo by Sarah J [link]
Death is wanting to have every experience
confirm you and congratulate you and
make you feel completely together.
~Pema Chödrön
(Growth mindset)

27. Exercise #3
Photo by Mike Dish [link]

28. Discuss with your
Photo by Mike Dish [link]
partner

29. Logotherapy
Photo courtesy of Rafael Delsin [link]

30. Logotherapy
Man’s search for meaning is the
primary motivation in his life.
~Viktor Frankl

31. Logotherapy
Everywhere man is confronted with fate,
with the chance of achieving something
through his own suffering.
~Viktor Frankl

32. Logotherapy
Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.
~Viktor Frankl

33. Logotherapy
At odds with positive psychology?
Eudaimonia, not mere pleasure
The importance of meaning
Agency & responsibility

34. Thank your
Photo by Michael Bentley [link]
partner

35. Shift the energy
Photo by Derek Bridges [link]

36. Discuss with
How are these ideas relevant to me?
What might I do with them?
your group

37. Thank your group
Photo by Minda Haas Kuhlmann [link]

38. Not a deep dive
Photo by Anna [link]

39. Positive
Photo by Susanne Nilsson [link]
psychology
Connections with today
Importance of meaning
Emotion regulation
Mental models

40. Downsides
Photo by Susanne Nilsson [link]
Banish unhappiness?
Peterson: Blame the victim
Agency  “I’m responsible”
& limits

41. If you feel
Photo by Jes [link]
unsettled…

42. If you feel
An opportunity to practice what we’ve learned
EMOTION (Reframing, Talking About Feelings)
RESILIENCE (Empathy, Reaching Out)
Self-coaching is SOCIAL
unsettled…

43. For next time…
Photo by funca88 [link]

44. Success
“Success Kid” photograph © Laney Griner, used with permission [link]

45. Photo by dotmatchbox [link]
An exercise…

46. Photo by dotmatchbox [link]
Managing
Oneself Worksheet

47. Managing
Complete after doing the assigned readings
Oneself Worksheet

48. Other items…
I’ll email links to today’s video & slides on my site
Weekly assignment due Tuesday 9pm

49. Thank you for
Photo by J Brooks [link]
the trust