Can We Talk? Creating the Conditions for Dialog

Library: Can We Talk? Creating the Conditions for Dialog
Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542
April/May 2016
kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu
413-597-3542
Manager, Training and Development
Office of Human Resources
Presented by Kevin R. Thomas
Can We Talk?
Creating the Conditions for Dialog

• Initiate and conduct productive conversations about
uncomfortable topics with coworkers, to:
– Increase trust
– Solve problems
– Create a positive work environment
Objectives

• Participation
• Listening
• A Note on Confidentiality
Ground Rules

• What kinds of
conversations are difficult?
• What makes them
difficult?
You Write the Slide

The Fight/Flight Response in the Workplace
• Social needs are primary needs
• We experience a “threat response” to the prospect of risking
damage to social relationships.
• Threats trigger our brains’ flight or fight response.
• We are likely to experience a desire to avoid or delay these
conversations –OR-
“Have it out” with people in a way that is counterproductive.

• Start with safer topics and
safer people
• Learn from experience
• Develop confidence
• Work your way towards
more difficult
conversations
Practice Makes Perfect

Difficult Conversation Done Right
What strategies were
used?
How did they handle
emotions?
http://youtu.be/R_SeQQTpVeE

“Can we take a minute to talk
to something that’s a concern
to me? I think we’d both
benefit from the discussion.”
Open an Inquiry

“I don’t want to do it
needlessly either …. If you
see it differently, I’d like to
hear your view.”
Demonstrate Support

Ladders of Inference

“We’ve been over these
points before, you don’t seem
to disagree with them. That
makes me wonder if the
reason you want to forgo the
limo is to avoid having to
justify the expense to
corporate, even if it might be
a wise decision.”
Share Your Ladder of Inference

“Is that part of what’s going
on here, or am I jumping to
conclusions? … If you see it
differently I’d like to hear your
view.”
Invite them to share their perspective

• Often people rush to solutions too quickly.
• Focus on small steps that could make
things a bit better.
• Ensure both parties are generating ideas.
• Make commitments clear and concrete.
• Schedule a time to check in about
progress.
Solutions focused conversations

• Break into groups
• Read the case study
• Should the protagonist talk
to anyone?
• Who?
• How should the
protagonist start the
conversation?
Case Study Discussions
1
Lunch Room
Trouble
2
Little Help?
3
Awkward
Meetings
4
Odd
Coworker

Links coming via email:
Contact Kevin Thomas at 413-597-3542
or email kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu
Can We Talk?
Questions?
• Course page link to all course materials
• Program evaluation link, feedback welcome
Creating the Conditions for Dialog

Can We Talk? Creating the Conditions for Dialog

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