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The Top 5 regrets of dying

I personally feel one of the most poisonous, most negative emotions of all is regret. You know, if even if you take a deep breath in right now and you think about what are all the regrets you might have with your own life. I'm sure it'll be a long list and it'll be a disturbing list. Well Australian writer, speaker and musician Bronnie Ware wrote a best-selling book called The Five Regrets of Dying People and in that particular book... because she invested over 8 years in palliative care looking after dying people and she maintained a journal, a diary during the period of time and asking this question to these folks.

Today as you look back into your life what are your top regrets about life and she started taking down answers from that interaction. About one year into this process, she saw a pattern emerge, she saw that all these answers could be categorized you know that there were a lot of similarities between them. And from this very research, from this very process of taking notes and asking questions and spending time with those people. Her best-selling book took birth which was the five regrets of dying people and I would like to share the summary / key take away those with you today because I believe perhaps the secret of the art of living lies in the secret of art of dying you know. Famous Italian Renaissance leader, a painter, artist Leonardo Vinci he said: As a day well spent brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death.
The whole idea is to invest your life in a way, to design your life in a way that when your work here is done, you are empty, you've given away everything you could have.
You're not looking back with a sense of regret. I wish, I could have, I should have. You know, why didn't I try, at least I should have tried, why did I give up and things like that. Those are very disturbing questions. Right? So I would like to share with you these five regrets of dying people so that today you can reflect on this and I've been quoting Bronnie Ware work with international audiences around the world and it's resonated with people. Do not accept anyone’s definition of life . DEFINE IT YOURSELF.,,,,

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The Top 5 regrets of dying

  1. 1. Some Impressionistic Take away from the Book Bronnie Ware The Top Five Regrets of the Dying Ramki ramaddster@gmail.com
  2. 2. About the Authors Bronnie Ware is an author, songwriting teacher, and speaker from Australia. Her inspiring memoir, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, has connected with hearts all over the world, with translations in 27 languages. Bronnie lives in rural Australia and loves balance, simple living, and waking up to the songs of birds.
  3. 3.  After working for too many years for unfulfilling work, Author Bronnie started searching for a new job and despite not having proper qualification or experience, she found herself working in palliative care.  Over the years she spent tending to the needs of those who were dying, Bronnie’s life was transformed. Later, she wrote an Internet blog about the most common regrets expressed to her by the people she had cared for. The article, also called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, gained so much momentum that it was read by more than three million people around the globe in its first year. At the requests of many, Bronnie now shares her own personal story.  Bronnie has had a colorful and diverse past, but by applying the lessons of those nearing their death to her own life, she developed an understanding that it is possible for people, if they make the right choices, to die with peace of mind. In this book, she expresses in a heartfelt retelling how significant these regrets are and how we can positively address these issues while we still have the time. The Top Five Regrets of the Dying gives hope for a better world. Prelude
  4. 4.  It is a story told through sharing her inspiring and honest journey, which will leave you feeling kinder towards yourself and others, and more determined to live the life you are truly here to live. This delightful memoir is a courageous, life-changing book.  This book contains a deeply sentimental and touching story. In this book, the author shares her experience working with those nearing death to help you understand that anything is possible if you make choices that align with your values.  Bronnie says People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. She learned never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance.  Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them. When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:. Prelude
  5. 5. I wish I’d had the Courage to Live a Life true to Myself , not the life of others expected out of me Regret -1
  6. 6. Regret -1  The author says that this was the most common regret by the people who realized their life is coming to an end.  When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled.  Most of the people had not honored their half of the dreams and they will die knowing that all that happened because of the choices they had made or not made.  Hence the author says that it is important to honor at least some of your dreams. Realize that health is very importantly.  From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize until they no longer have it.
  7. 7. Regret -1- How to overcome  To avoid this regret and create a life that you love, focus on being tune into YOU.  Be unapologetic about pursuing the things that speak to your soul.  Express yourself fully and completely. Remember, you only get one shot to live the life you want.  Don't worry about judgment or expectations of others. Your dreams are on your heart for a reason. They are meant to be lived. It takes courage to live your dreams, yet you will find fullness on the other side.  Nobody can decide what is best for you. Many will try, and they will all fail. It doesn't mean those misguided attempts don't affect us. It comes back to keeping your circle tight and choosing each member within it with careful consideration.
  8. 8. Regret -1- How to overcome  A big objection that many people throw up in favor of not chasing all their dreams is that other things got in the way. These are usually things such as a career, starting a family, or even an injury. Sometimes we just don't believe in ourselves enough to pursue our dreams, or we allow other 'responsibilities' to get in the way.  Here's what I want you to understand. Following your dreams is not selfish. It may mean that you have more responsibilities than the average person if you have a family. It may mean you get to work harder if you have challenges that others don't. Nobody said life was supposed to be easy. It's not easy. Nothing worth doing will ever be easy. Living the life of your dreams is absolutely worth it.
  9. 9. I wish I didn’t work so hard. Regret -2
  10. 10. Regret -2  The Author says that this is a very common regret especially from the side of the male patient she had nursed.  They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship.  Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners.  The Author says that most of the male patients regret that they were so busy spending their lives on work treadmill that they forgot about their personal life.  Do Not complicate Your life. Understand the importance of everything in your life. work hard for your luxurious lifestyle but never forget your family and loved one’s importance, because that will make you and your life happier.  Understand every aspect of your life is important hence don’t just run behind one thing. have time for everything. Manage your time wisely.
  11. 11. Regret -2- How to overcome To avoid this regret, you must work smart, not hard.  Focus on a career that is part of your vision. It's vital to know what you are trying to achieve and why you are trying to achieve it.  Your life's work will feel so much more meaningful when it is in alignment with your vision.  Do not spend your life working at a job that you hate or makes you miserable, just to pay the bills. There are infinite ways to earn income in this world, and you are smart enough to find on that is in alignment with you.  The image of entrepreneurs or corporate bosses working long hours, day in and day out, is glamorized by movies and entertainment.  It is not a real and sustainable pathway to success. Instead, it is a quick trip to burnout.
  12. 12. Regret -2- How to overcome  Sometimes longer hours may be required. If you have a dream of making a considerable impact, your work very well might include some late nights. It is essential to choose this time with purpose and intention rather than allow them to dominate your time on this planet.  Also, please remember that your brain needs downtime to optimally support your goals. Relaxation, fun, joy, and peace are essential for your energy, well-being, focus, and productivity. Spend time enjoying the people that matter most. Celebrate your wins and respect your body.  Spending time with those that you love can actually have the effect of boosting your energy when you do return to work. It may not seem like it in the heat of the moment when you have a lot of work-related pressure, yet taking a break to enjoy your family can lead to your biggest professional breakthroughs.  Make yourself and those you love a priority. Even a quick phone call can do wonders for your mindset. You never know where you'll find inspiration.
  13. 13. Regret -3 I wish I had the courage to express my feelings
  14. 14. Regret -3  The Author says that many people suppressed or hide their feelings in order to keep peace with others.  As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.  Many developed illnesses because of the bitterness and resentment they carry within their mind and head.  Understand You can’t control others every time.  You can’t control others reaction But you can control yourself and can make choices for yourself.  Although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end, it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level.  Either that or it releases an unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
  15. 15. Regret -3- How to overcome  To avoid this regret, you need to never hide your feelings with people, especially those you love most.  Prioritize openness and honesty in your relationships, and you'll be rewarded with a stronger bond in return.  Yes, even if you experience conflict because of your honesty, you'll discover greater trust and connection on the other side of working through that conflict.  Suppressing your emotions cannot lead to any positive outcomes. Just like if you shake a bottle of carbonated liquid, the pressure will always reach a breaking point and boil over or explode.  A creative outlet can also be a powerful form of self-expression. Creativity allows us to express feelings that we may struggle to put into words. Sharing our creative expressions requires a certain level of vulnerability, which is powerful in itself.
  16. 16. I wish I had stayed in touch with My Friends Regret -4
  17. 17. Regret -4  In this busy world, people forget the importance of old friends and they don’t realize till the time they don’t reach near the end of their lives.  Many have become so caught up in their work that they have forgotten the importance of true friendship.  Many people regret the time which has slipped which they could have given to their friends, they regret the time and efforts that their friendship had deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.  It is very common that people forget the importance of their loved ones. We all should understand that when our time comes near it is not status or wealth which we needed that time.  It is the presence of our loved ones which affects us which makes us feel good. Suppose you are unwell, you have lots of money, You are famous But outside your hospital room, there is not even a single person who truly loves you has come to meet you. How You would feel?  Understand Never Complicate your life. Understand the importance of what you have while working for what you want.
  18. 18. Regret -4- How to overcome  To avoid this regret, stay in touch with those who matter most. Fortunately, social media makes it easier to keep in touch with friends, yet remember that nothing can replace a phone call or in-person connection.  Make an intention to connect with a friend every day. It can be a simple text message of appreciation or a short phone call. You can even send a letter or a card if you know their address. It would likely surprise them and make their day.  Our connections are what keep us going. There's an old saying that describes it perfectly: "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."
  19. 19. Regret -5 I wish I had let Myself be Happier
  20. 20. Regret -5  The author says Surprising this Regret is common. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice.  People stay in their comfort zone throughout their lives and always fear to change, Bronnie says They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives.  People fear to change, they fear to chase what they desire and to cover that they pretend to others and to themselves that they are very satisfied with their lives, however deep within they feel incomplete and they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.  When you are on your deathbed, what others feel and think about you is something you don’t think for a second. But the question is why to Realize it so late, Understand that what others think and say about you doesn’t matter. It’s you who has control over your thoughts feelings and emotions. It is You who gives other control over you.  Its You and it is Your Life, Your choice, Your decisions. Hence Never Regret things, You still have time to make your life better and change for better.
  21. 21. Regret -5- How to overcome To avoid this regret, please remember that happiness is a choice. It's not something you get from buying something, it's a feeling that lives within you, even if your life isn't where you want it to be (yet.) At the end of the day, you are 100% responsible for your life and your happiness. Choose to be happy, no matter where you are in life. If you're staying healthy, operating from your vision, and living from your values, everything will work itself out. Sure, you will have bad days, but don't make a bad day turn into a bad week, month, or year. Know how to get yourself out of a funk and always choose to be happy.
  22. 22. Regret -5- How to overcome  Don't forget, you only get one life. You get to make the most of it by choosing happiness so you can experience life to the fullest.  Surround yourself with good people who uplift you. Choose activities that leave your body feeling energized rather than drained. Quit that job you hate, drop the client who hassles you over little details.  If you do find yourself getting caught in negative energy, stop what you're doing, and move your body. Drop and do 10 push-ups. Get outside and go for a short run or walk. Hit some weights. Do 10 jumping jacks.  Movement is a great way to get out of your head and into your body, so you can return to any activity feeling more centered. There will inevitably be some moments where choosing happiness seems like the last choice you want to make. But you can take some action and distract yourself in a good way for a little bit.
  23. 23. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose Consciously, Choose wisely, Choose honestly. Choose happiness.
  24. 24.  Think about the future… your legacy.  Let me ask again… "What is the legacy you want to leave once your time is up on this planet?"  Is what you are doing today in alignment with that legacy?  Remember, the more action you take, the more impact you can make.

I personally feel one of the most poisonous, most negative emotions of all is regret. You know, if even if you take a deep breath in right now and you think about what are all the regrets you might have with your own life. I'm sure it'll be a long list and it'll be a disturbing list. Well Australian writer, speaker and musician Bronnie Ware wrote a best-selling book called The Five Regrets of Dying People and in that particular book... because she invested over 8 years in palliative care looking after dying people and she maintained a journal, a diary during the period of time and asking this question to these folks. Today as you look back into your life what are your top regrets about life and she started taking down answers from that interaction. About one year into this process, she saw a pattern emerge, she saw that all these answers could be categorized you know that there were a lot of similarities between them. And from this very research, from this very process of taking notes and asking questions and spending time with those people. Her best-selling book took birth which was the five regrets of dying people and I would like to share the summary / key take away those with you today because I believe perhaps the secret of the art of living lies in the secret of art of dying you know. Famous Italian Renaissance leader, a painter, artist Leonardo Vinci he said: As a day well spent brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death. The whole idea is to invest your life in a way, to design your life in a way that when your work here is done, you are empty, you've given away everything you could have. You're not looking back with a sense of regret. I wish, I could have, I should have. You know, why didn't I try, at least I should have tried, why did I give up and things like that. Those are very disturbing questions. Right? So I would like to share with you these five regrets of dying people so that today you can reflect on this and I've been quoting Bronnie Ware work with international audiences around the world and it's resonated with people. Do not accept anyone’s definition of life . DEFINE IT YOURSELF.,,,,

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