Be a friend to find a friend it's that simple

1. Hello and Welcome Everyone!
THIS TRAINING IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY
“Widening the Circle/Pathways to Friendship”
OFFERED THROUGH THE ARC OF
MASSACHUSETTS
(781) 891-6270
arcmass@arcmass.org

2. FRIENDSHIP MATTERS!
TOOLS AND TIPS FROM
SELF-ADVOCATES ON BUILDING AND
MAINTAINING FRIENDSHIPS

3. What does
“FRIEND”
mean to you?

4. WHO CAN BE YOUR
FRIENDS?
Your friends can be:
• People of different colors
• People with different religions
• People with and without disabilities
There are no limits on who
might be your friends!

5. WHY IS IT GOOD TO HAVE
FRIENDS?
People with friends are happier,
healthier and safer!

6. REAL FRIENDS…
● Choose to be with you -
they are not paid to be
with you!
●Both give and take to the
friendship!

7. Are They Real Friends: Yes or No?
1. Acquaintances are people we know,
but with whom we aren’t close.
Like neighbors, a letter carrier, a
librarian, or The Ride driver
a. No, acquaintances don’t give and
take to a friendship
2. Staff
a. No, they are paid to be with us

8. Norma and Yashira
Friendship from the Past and Present
Some friends are people we have known for a long time!

9. HOW CAN YOU TELL A NON-FRIEND?
❏ They lie to you
❏ They say bad things about you
❏ They are sneaky
❏ They don’t say a lot about themselves
but ask lots of questions about you,
like:
● Where you bank
● When you get paid
❏ They steal or “borrow” things
from you without asking
❏ They touch you even if you say
“NO!”

10. PROTECT
YOURSELF!
If you are being bothered or
hurt by a non-friend then take
action!
● NO means NO!
● If you feel something isn’t
right, trust yourself and get
help
● Say “GET LOST!” or “I don’t
want to see you again!”
● Ask for advice from your
friends or people you trust!

11. GIFTS, INTERESTS AND COMMUNITY
Before we talk about how to make friends, we need to
think about your Gifts, Interests, and Community
These will help you figure out how and where to go to
make friends!

12. YOUR GIFTS
● Gifts are strengths that you
have and share with others
Like your funny jokes, your
smile, your loving way with
animals
● Think about what people or
places would value your gifts
Draw a picture or tell us about one of
your gifts!

13. YOUR INTERESTS
● Interests are things that
you really care about and
enjoy
For example, Jonathan’s
interests are taking pictures
of nature, poetry and
writing songs
● Are there people or
community groups that
share your interests?

14. YOUR COMMUNITY
• Community is the people and places around where you live and spend time
• What parts of the community are you already involved with, and what areas
could you be more a part of?
Here’s how you can find out more about your own community:
- Take a walk and see what’s right there
- Try to notice places when you go to the bank, grocery store, gym or work
- Read the newspaper
- Look it up on the Internet

15. JONATHAN AND ED
Friendship Through The
Community

16. 6 WAYS TO MAKE FRIENDS
Now I am going to share some strategies
for making friends!

17. #1: BECOME FRIENDS WITH YOUR
ACQUAINTANCES
● Think about the people you
know in the community but with
whom you are not close
● Maybe someone from work or
where you volunteer, or
someone from the coffee shop
or library you go to regularly
● You could get to know this
person better and become
friends with them

18. #2:
CONNECT WITH PEOPLE
FROM THE PAST
● Family Friends
● Former Neighbors
● Schoolmates
● Former Staff
Members

19. #3:
CONNECT WITH YOUR NEIGHBORS
*Host neighborhood events
Host
*Welcome new neighbors with cookies
Welcom
e
*Volunteer to shovel snow or mow lawns
Voluntee
r
*Do errands for elderly neighbors
Do
*Just sit and chat!
Sit and
chat
*Share your garden flowers or vegetables
Share

20. #4: BECOME A
MEMBER OF A
GROUP
There are many different
types of groups you can
join
For example, a book club,
or a sports team, or the
choir at your place of
worship
This can be a great way to
meet people who like the
same things you do!

21. #5: ONE-TO-ONE MATCHMAKING
Either someone who knows you well
Or an organization that helps to
connect people
Introduces you to someone who
shares your needs and interests
I
You meet the person and get to know
them

22. #6: LEARN NEW
SKILLS
Improve or learn new skills in a
class
For example:
• Join a cooking class offered
at a cookware store or at a
local junior college
• Join a scrapbooking class
offered at a Michaels craft
store
• Take singing lessons that
lead to joining a local choir
This is another great way to
meet someone who shares your
interests!

23. FRIENDSHIP FROM LEARNING A NEW SKILL
SAM AND JERRY

24. SENDING OUT GOOD MESSAGES
You can do this by:
Looking your best
● Take care of your body, and wear
nice, well-fitting clothes
Using positive body language
● Body language is when we use
our bodies to tell people things
● When we are frowning or smiling,
or crossing our arms, it sends a
message
● We want to send out good
messages!
People are more likely to be your friend if you are sending
out good messages about yourself!

25. Who Would You Want to Be Friends With?

26. Help us solve these challenges to friendship by
answering these multiple-choice questions!
Challenges to Friendship

27. Which is the right answer?
A. Find free activities you can do together, like
going to the park, street fair or the library
A. Stay home and don’t go out
A. Hope someone will pay for you
Answer: A
Challenge 1: Lack of Money

28. Which is the right answer?
A. Apply for The Ride/Ride Flex, Take a taxi or carpool
A. Walk, ride your bike, or do Travel training
A. Build your own car
A. A & B
Answer: D
Challenge 2: No Transportation

29. Which is the right answer?
A. Only visit other separated group homes
A. Live in a tent closer to the community
A. Go out into the community or invite people from the
community to your home
Answer: C
Challenge 3: Living in Homes
Separated from the Community

30. Which is the right answer?
A. Meet at places that are accessible
B. See what accommodations are available, like
headphones or captions at the movies
C. Knock down stairs with a bulldozer and make your
own ramp
D.A & B
Answer: D
Challenge 4: Accessibility Issues

31. Which is the right answer?
A. Explain to family/staff why making
friends is important to you
B. Find a new family
C. Add a friendship goal to your ISP or
IEP
D. A & C
Answer: D
Challenge 5: Lack of Support by Staff or Family

32. Which is the right answer?
A. Ask people who know you or the other person well to
help you communicate
B. Get frustrated and start throwing things
C. Use pictures or write it down
D. Make a fire and do smoke signals
E. A & C
Answer: E
Challenge 6: Difficulty Communicating

33. Which is the right answer?
A. Take it slowly and give yourself
time to get to know the person
B. Have someone you trust come
along, so you feel comfortable
C.Think of all the good things that
come from friendship
D.All of the above
Answer: D
Challenge 7: Fear of Getting Close to Someone

34. How to Start a Friendship: ASK!
When you find someone you want to become friends with,
Ask that person to do something with you!
❏ Think about what to ask the person
• Don’t ask the person to “be my friend”, since that
might seem too rushed. It takes time to become a
friend!
• Think of an activity. Maybe you want to ask them to
get a coffee or to meet up at a music event
❏ Ask the person to join you at this activity, and if they
say “yes”, schedule a time and place to meet and Have
Fun!
❏ If the person says “no”, that’s ok! You got practice
asking and will get a “Yes” answer from someone else
another time!
❏If you find it hard to do the asking yourself, a family
member, staff or another friend could help with Asking!

35. GROWING YOUR FRIENDSHIP
Once you have a friendship, you need to keep it
healthy and growing!
You need to do Acts of Friendship, like…
❑ Remember important dates, like your friend’s
birthday
❑ Help each other out
❑ Talk to each about things
❑ Listen carefully when your friend is speaking
❑ Be someone they can trust and rely on
These are ways to make your friendship stronger!

36. FRIENDSHIP SCENARIOS
WHAT SHOULD BE DONE TO MAKE
FRIENDS?
We are going to read through several situations,
and want you to help us figure out ways the person
mentioned in each example could make a friend!

37. SCENARIO 1
Shanna received an invitation to her
high school reunion party. She hasn’t
seen many of her high school friends
in years.
How could Shanna use this
opportunity to make a friend?

38. Neal goes to religious services every week. When he
walks through the door, the greeter smiles and
welcomes him. There are many other friendly people
who attend the services as well.
What opportunities are there for Neal to
make a friend at his place of worship?
Scenario 2

39. SCENARIO 3
Marcus watches a lot of cooking
shows and wants to learn to be a
better cook.
How could Marcus use his desire
to be a better chef to make new
friends?

40. SCENARIO 4
Gabrielle enjoys playing and watching
sports. One of her family friend’s has a
co-worker who is the coach of a local
baseball team.
What could be done to help Gabrielle
make a friend?

41. Pat is a real movie buff, and loves seeing all the new
movies in the theatres and watching classic movies at
home.
What opportunities for friendship could come out
of Pat’s love of movies?
Scenario 5

42. SCENARIO 6
Carlos is new to the neighborhood and
decided to take a walk around the block
to become more familiar with the area.
As he strolls down the street, he sees
some neighbors gardening.
What could Carlos do to build a
friendship?

43. Great job!

44. Any questions or comments?
Thank you!

45. If you have further questions, please feel free
to contact us at:
Lucky Garcia: garcialu@vinfen.org
Meg Gaydos: gaydos@arcmass.org
Rachel Hayward: rhayward@arcmass.org
Norma Laureano:
normalstarweaver@gmail.com
Sam Paster: sam.paster114@gmail.com
Jonathan Spiller: jonathans064@gmail.com
Best of luck in making new,
healthy and happy friendships!

46. SOURCES
• Friends Booklet by Middlesbrough 1st, Skills for People, TEWV Reference
Group

47. Special thanks to Sam Paster, Norma
Laureano, Jonathan Spiller and Lucky
Garcia for developing this presentation!