2. My dear Christyworm,
It has been a long time since I last
corresponded. I must admit, your 2002 cuts
to their public education have been
surprisingly successful over the past decade.
Until recently, other than the cries of their
kids’ teachers and a trickle of nosy parents,
most people seem to have taken the larger
class sizes, fewer teachers, and fewer
supports for those troublesome monsters
with special needs in stride. I am proud to
admit your positive messaging such as “more
flexibility for school boards” and “more
funding than ever before” has diverted public
attention away from the rights of their
wretched children. Indeed, two Supreme
Court decisions against us and the fact that
we have successfully avoided compliance
illustrates the strength of our political
immunity.
3. Most recently, I commend you on achieving a
stay of proceedings until our appeal can be
heard in the courts. Presently, I am breaking
my silence only because I fear these are
desperate times for the BC Liberals and I
believe you would benefit from a dose of your
Dear Uncle’s advice.
4. Our mission has been well served by the fact
that returning their schools to the levels of
support that existed prior to your 2002 cuts,
would now require millions of dollars. I
encourage you to maintain your focus on
articulating the downsides of diverting such
exorbitant amounts of money from our other
important initiatives. Do whatever is
necessary to distract public attention from the
fact that those millions of dollars have
already been withheld from their children
each school year for the past twelve.
5. On that note, I have heard rumblings of
certain meddlesome parents considering a
class action suit against you for the
substandard education their children have
incurred. I trust you understand that all would
be lost should this idea manifest into an
actual court case. Worldwide media attention
would surely be difficult to combat with your
simple, repetitive messaging. For now, my
advice is to simply repeat how BC children
rank so well on international measures. I
caution you not to overuse this claim;
teachers are likely to point out how their
persistence and professionalism in
classrooms, despite the reduced supports, is
the real reason why such rankings have not
slipped even farther.
6. Regarding your upcoming appeal of the
second Supreme Court loss, do not be
discouraged by the cries from political
experts claiming we are wasting taxpayer
money. Rather – understanding the power of
consistent messaging – I recommend it is
now time to embrace a new message: “It is
our responsibility to balance the greedy
demands of teachers against the
overburdening of BC taxpayers.” This
message serves two purposes: First,
associating the words “balance” and
“responsibility” with ourselves promotes the
inference that their children’s teachers must
therefore be the unbalanced and
irresponsible party. Second, we reinforce the
idea that taxes are a bad thing.
7. As always, discipline yourself against
becoming complacent or overconfident.
Though your longevity has thus far relied on
the short memories of taxpayers, traditional
and social media have a disgusting way of
keeping our successes alive among them.
Pacify their questions and concerns with
grandiloquence. Above all, avoid using
factual statistics in your discourse with the
media such as “$1000 per child below the
national average” and “the lowest student-
teacher ratio in the country.” None of this data
is sympathetic to our mission, nor an
argument we can win. Rather, remember the
messaging: “Teachers are self-serving; BC
Liberals are responsible and balanced.”
8. As you’ve learned, continued success in the
political arena depends on catering to the
short-term financial needs of voters. We have
successfully achieved the highest poverty
levels in the country among the less-
significant classes and ages, which has
solidified our political security. It is no
surprise that our votes from the upper class
are secure, as they often attribute their
success in part to our solid fiscal governing
policies. Our votes from the lower and
middle-income classes, however, are also
assured because they are working so hard to
make ends meet. After all, if there exists the
fear of not being able to provide for their
children, they remain desperate and thankful
for a pittance of short-term savings – lower
taxes.
9. Finally, I trust you have been keeping up with
the recent studies that show the strong
majority of parents trust their children’s
teachers while conversely very few trust us
politicians. Therefore, I advise you to keep
real children out of the equation as much as
possible. Long-term investment in their
children – their future – is a political career
killer. Never forget that.
